John, Please don't get upset over a couple of plants. No, I am not rude here! I know you're a good grower of quality plants. I was shocked to learn that you were giving them all up. You've worked so hard over the years to acquire good plants and grow them to perfection. Based on your reputation, I automatically assumed that the plants offered would at least be good quality and worth every penny you were asking for them. I didn't need proof otherwise. But, after you changed your mind about selling them to me, and I asked to whom you were selling them, instead of politely declining my request because you didn't feel comfortable with providing that info, you sarcastically asked me why I had the right to know and then you belittled me with your critisism....adding insult to injury. In a matter of minutes, I'd gone from being pleased that you'd accepted my offer, to having the plants snatched away (without any apology for making the mistake) and you being unpleasant to me. Then you chimed in again and were rude to me for a second time after I posted my question, hoping the buyer would choose to reveal themselves, thus providing me the opportunity to ask them about a deal. Perhaps I just don't "get" your personality in writing and in person I'd get a completely different impression; but, in this case, I felt that you intensionally put me down.
"you have no right or need to know who the buyer is"! That is rude to ask me about the buyer to begin with! Again, considering that I was the first person who's offer you accepted, I believe that asking was not out of line. I simply wanted to see if the buyer would like to go half and half on the purchase. There was nothing rude about me asking the question, considering the circumstances. It was a simple question that you could've answered politely, even if it was to tell me that you didn't feel that you should provide that information. When I didn't reveal the name to you because I didn't think you should know, you decided to do it in public for questionable reasons. Questionable reasons? Members here often ask who was bidding against them in eBay auctions. Again, as I said, if the buyer didn't want to be known, that would be their choice. There was nothing wrong with me asking openly on the forum. It was a simple question, Tom, that wouldn't go anywhere if the buyer didn't want it to. It had it's own checks and balances, by default. You didn't need to chastise me.
First of all, I said no to the request on the first PM I opened because I know you are in Canada. then When you said you have a U,S. shipping address on the second PM, I was thinking about how legal that was and I said I would consider that, not knowing Mr. xxxxx had already sent in the order before you. You actually said to me: "Okay, now we might get somewhere here since you have a U.S. address. I get back to you for details later tonight or tomorrow.. Sorry about the short reply on the other PM." So, to me, the deal was done and you were busy at the moment; but, you'd get back to me to settle the details of my purchase. You did not say you'd "consider" it. You may have been thinking that; but, you did not say that. To me, you appeared to accept my offer and you'd get back to me later with details.
I didn't accept any order by any legal terms with you. I believe you did. I guess now we'll have to agree to disagree. If you think I did. Bring me a lawsuit! Don't be ridiculous. Look, it is first come first serve basis as I clearly stated somewhere on my sales. Yes, and you accepted my offer, then backed out; but, while disappointed and feeling that something had been taken away from me, I understood your dilema (because you'd answered your PMs in the wrong order) and thought that maybe the buyer would like to sell a piece of each plant....again, I was assuming that the plants would be of good quality because I know you grow good quality plants....and your price was good; so maybe the buyer's price would also be good. I simply felt it was worth asking. There's no harm in that. People can always say "No"; but, the very fact that I asked has irked you and you became rude. That's what this is all about now.
Are those two Paphs that hard to find? You don't even know the quality of the flowers of my clone and you are that eager to get a division of them? I already explained that, above. Com'on John, I know exactly what you are doing here. Keep trying John. It doesn't do you any good. Tom, there is no "read between the lines" agenda here. I asked you a question, in private and you rudely snapped at me. So, I asked the question on the forum because that was what I should've done in the first place, instead of putting you on the spot by asking you to provide that information I was seeking. You were rude again; but, I wasn't asking you the question. You needn't have answered at all.
If I knew what kind of person you were, I would have not helped you out financially like many forum members while you had the greenhouse freeze years ago. Lesson learned! That was over 7 years ago. Whatever your participation was, I was then and I am now, still very grateful for your kindness. But, do you really expect that one act of kindness, 7 years ago, automatically gives you the right to be sarcastic and rude to me forever? C'mon Tom. That's very juvenile. That disaster years ago is a completely different issue and has no place being brought up now. I'm not getting into that any further. It's ridiculous to bring that up and weave it into the current issue at hand. That is shameful.
That is the story, folks. My post did not intend to make you mad John, but I think you chose that way for whatever reason. and you just made me break the rules here--keep all the sh** between parties.. I will be silent now on this matter! You may carry on if you wish! Reread your post, Tom. If you were not intending to make me mad, or irked, or to take a jab at me, or whatever, why the venemous post and the arrogant declaration that the buyer would not be interested in whatever I was "shouting for"? Tom, you're talking out of both sides of your mouth. You don't get to appear to take the high road here. You brought this minor issue between us into the public realm, not me. The question I posted was clearly not directed at you. I was not looking for an answer from you. The buyer could choose for themselves if they wanted to reply. You could've simply left it alone and not posted any reply; but, you chose to critisise me, publicly and belittle me once again. Plus, you say you will be "silent now on..."; but, I see that you have already posted again on this matter. You can't take the high road and then come back for another swing at me and still expect people to think you have the highest moral standards.
Edit: If Mr. xxxx wants to reveal his user name here, he is more than welcome to do so here. Let's make it clear again, I knew the name when you asked me the buyer's name at the very first time but I just didn't think you had the right to know my buyer's name. Are you saying/suspecting I was lying about I had a buyer or the plants? and that is why you wanted to know the name of the buyer? If it is so, that is low and pity! As stated, I was thinking/hoping that maybe the buyer would like to share the purchase. Odds were that he would not; but, you never know...and you can't know, unless you ask. So, I asked. It's as simple as that, Tom.
Is this the real purpose of your post on my thread? Let me tell you, I have been treating my buyers very fair if you must know also. No, that was not the purpose of originally posting on your thread. I simply wanted the buyer to know someone else was interested and if they revealed themselves, then I could ask about making a shared purchase. My last sentence that you refer to was more an expression of my frustration and disappointment and maybe a little retaliation for the way you've treated me. Howevr, I regret posting that. It was a bit self-indulgent and I apologise. You upset me and ruined a very rare fun experience for me by first appearing to accept my offer, then doing a flip flop and turning me down......and then, being rude to me. Recently, I decided to collect micranthum and armeniacum clones....and I happened to get a little bit of money yesterday. Moments later, I read your advertisement and decided to offer to buy package #1. It seemed like it was meant to be, as dumb as that sounds. Then, well, it all fell apart as detailed above.
You know Tom, my disappointment is justified and shouldn't be difficult to understand. It would've all played out so differently if you'd been more sensitive to how your mistake would make a customer feel and if you'd then simply exercised a bit of restraint in your tone and choice of words.
