Okay, so is it time for the story?
Ernie: (hands in customs form)
Agent 1: Are you in Canada for business or personal reasons?
Ernie: Personal
Agent 1: are you staying with friends or family?
Ernie: Friends
Agent 1: What is your friend's name?
Ernie: Jim R..
Agent 1: Where does Jim live?
Ernie: uhhhhh, Winnipeg.
Agent 1: (marks customs form with red pen) What does Jim do for a living?
Ernie: He's retired
Agent 1: (marks customs form with red pen) You need to go over there to that office (immigration)
...
Agent 2: (asks same questions as above...) When are you leaving Canada?
Ernie: Early Sunday (presents e-mail confirmation with flight info)
Agent 2: Why did Lorne H..... pay for your plane ticket?
Ernie: Because the Manitoba OS paid for the flight.
Agent 2: Why did they buy your ticket?
Ernie: Because I'm here to judge their orchid show.
Agent 2: (marks customs form with red pen) Why didn't you tell the first agent that?
Ernie: He didn't ask.
Agent 2: (marks customs form with red pen) You were here this same weekend last year. Why didn't you tell the first agent that?
Ernie: He didn't ask.
Agent 2: (marks customs form with red pen then beckons to third agent) you'll need to grab your bags and go with her.
...
Agent 3: (very aggressively) So, let me get this straight... you're here for personal reasons, but Lorne H..... bought your ticket, Jim R.. is picking you up, and the Manitoba OS paid for your ticket???
Ernie: (very nervous, scared, trying to look apologetic more so than confused) One question at a time please, but yes.
Agent 3: I'm going to look through your luggage.
Ernie: Help yourself.
Agent 3: (pulls out laptop) are you giving a presentation at the orchid show?
Ernie: Yes.
Agent 3: Why didn't you tell the other agents?
Ernie: They didn't ask.
Agent 3: You are misrepresenting your visit to Canada. IF we let you stay, we will keep your laptop, fine you the highest allowable amount, and you might spend some time in jail. Right now, I think we'll just send you back to Chicago.
Ernie: Uhhhhh
(the first agent enters room and opens carry on luggage with clothes and removes all contents including SH containers for a club member.)
Agent 3: What are those???!!!
Agent 1: Orchid containers!
Ernie: They're deli containers, but you can grow orchdis in them.
Agent 1: I will test these for agricultural residue, if I find anything, they become the property of Canada as well as the rest of your luggage (swabs containers). And you will be fined for not claiming agricutural items on your customs form. If there are any plants in these bags, you will be prosecuted most harshly.
Ernie: Uhhhhhh.
Agents 1 & 3 confer...
Agent 3: If you were up front with us from the beginning, you would have avoided all this. We will decide what to do with you...
Ernie: I simply tried to answer the agents' questions simply and truthfully
Agent 3: (the equivalent of "don't talk back to me")
Agent 3: (gives lengthy speach on wasting custom agents' time etc) go back to see agent 2- he'll write up a statement.
Ernie: Uhhhhh (packs bags and goes to agent 2)
...
Agent 2: (looks confused- confers with other agents then words an ammendment to my passport) This just states that you may not take any professional or vocational courses while you are here and that you must leave by Monday, March 30.
Ernie: Uhhhh.
All this took about an hour. Don't remember the clock ever going so slow.
-Ernie
Amazing what natural light and a 10x loupe can do for a dinky flower! 
