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Happy birthday man, just say you want him to fry and they'll let you off :)
I just read it in the paper...

"We, the members of this jury find Jon guilty of having an aggravated birthday in the first degree. He is hereby sentenced to party until such time as he is deemed fit to rejoin society"

What day is today? Today is your birthday. (I don't remember how the rest of the song goes, but it's the Futurama birthday song. You should know it, right?)